To That Mom Who Can’t See Past Her Own Jealousy….

…you are the reason so many of us get a bad name, and why the mommy wars continue in this vicious ridiculous cycle.  You are also the reason husbands feel like they can’t. ever. win.

I just read this article from ModernMom on how “Daddy is Always the Good Guy” and my knee jerk reaction has inspired this post.  Although I’m hoping, truly dearly hoping, that the entire thing was just satire.

Here are my thoughts:

Why don’t you figure out how to be the human submarine in the pool?  Why not forget about what your hair is going to do or what your post baby body looks like and just be in the moment and engage with your husband and children?

Learn how to build a tent city and maybe forget about Facebook and learn to play with Lincoln Logs.

How about not cutting down your husband while simultaneously trying to say you are grateful for him.  It pains me to read things like I’m thankful for my husband, but….  He’s an incredible father, but…..

It is precisely this line of thinking that is the problem with marriage and parenting in America.  It is precisely this line of thinking that results in memes that depict women as these crazy, hypocritical, unhappy, impossible to please beings.  Because many of us are exactly the stereotype that the world has set us up to be.

How about not resenting your children because they don’t thank you for being you.  If you are lacking fulfillment in your family life then maybe you need to take as step back and evaluate how much your parenting style, or relationship dynamics, or personality have created these things you so resent.  How about turning inward and finding your own happiness.  Embrace your mommy belly and your frizzy hair, and if you can’t, then pull your hair back in a bun and know that you are burning calories in the pool playing with your kids.

Learn to be mindful in your life.  Learn to be self aware, instead of being consumed by things you perceive as gender inequality.    Learn to delegate if you have too much on your plate, or better yet, ignore the floors needing the vacuum and paint with your kids.  Learn to balance work-life, and if you think you can’t because you are in a time in your life when there aren’t enough hours in the day, then change your habits to create more time.  And if your husband picks up the produce on sale, then make banana bread, or freeze those green beans.  Seriously, there are worse things in life than bashing him for wanting to save a little money.

Learn to be grateful for these precious moments.  Life can be ripped from you with no warning.  Mommies do need love too, but the second you brought your children in to the world was the second you made the decision to raise a family.  And that can only be done in collaboration and out of love, not spite.  After all, you are the example.

Here is a little mantra list for you:

I’m so happy my husband and children play together while I get some yoga in for my body and spirit.

I’m so glad that we can all play together and spend quality time as a family without worry of what others may think.

I feel so blessed to have a husband to share this life with, and children to create the family that we have.

I’m so grateful that we have the financial stability to go on vacation with our children and show them the world, when so many others do not have such luxuries.

If I need help with something, I will teach myself to ask with grace.

I will mind my negative thoughts so that they do not shape who I am.

I am a woman, a wife and a mother, but I am also me, and I am worthy of love.  Therefore, I will give it generously and openly, so that it may return to me.

Love & Happyness to All!



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